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From tamsun!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!mcsun!uknet!warwick!nott-cs!cep Fri Feb 7 13:40:59 CST 1992
Article: 16305 of rec.humor
Path: tamsun!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!mcsun!uknet!warwick!nott-cs!cep
From: cep@cs.nott.ac.uk (Charles E Pearce)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: What do you call a ...
Message-ID: <1992Feb3.013859.17964@cs.nott.ac.uk>
Date: 3 Feb 92 01:38:59 GMT
Reply-To: cep@cs.nott.ac.uk ()
Organization: Nottingham University
Lines: 185
Here is my compiled list of "what do you call a ..." jokes. If anybody has any new ones please mail them to me.
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What do you call a man standing between two buildings?
Ali
What do you call a woman full of holes?
Annette
What do you call a man who has no arms and legs who is nailed to the wall?
Art
What do you call the arms and legs of the above mentioned man?
Pieces of Art
What do you call a woman with a steak on her back?
Barbie
What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on head?
Beatrix
What do you call the same woman playing pool at the same time?
Beatrix Potter
What do you call a woman throwing her bills in the fire?
Bernadette
What do you call a man stuffed in a letterbox?
Bill
What do you call a man floating in the ocean?
Bob
What do you call a man who is being electrocuted?
Buzz
What do you call a man with seagulls on his head?
Cliff
What do you call a man with oil coming out of the top of his head?
Derek
What do you call a man with no arms, legs or torso?
Dick
What do you call the same man swimming the channel?
Clever Dick
What do you call a woman at the bottom of an elevator shaft?
Dot
What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Doug
What do you call a man without a spade in his head?
Douglas
What do you call a man with a wooden head?
Edward
What do you call a man with three wooden heads?
Edward Woodward
What do you call a man with four wooden heads?
I don't know, but Edward Woodward would
What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen
What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg longer than the other?
Ireen
What do you call a woman with both legs the same length?
Nolene
What do you call a man covered in mustard?
Frank
What do you call a man with a bottle of gin on his head?
Gordon
What do you call a pig in a black and white movie?
Graham
What do you call a man who gets $20,000 a year from the government?
Grant
What do you call a man sitting in a vegetable garden?
Herb
What do you call a woman who is stuck to the walls at Christmas?
Holly
What do you call a man who looks a bit off-colour?
Hugh
What do you call a man who has his head stuck under your car?
Jack
What do you call a man who gives a girl all the exercise she needs?
Jim
What do you call a man with toilet paper in his mouth?
John
What do you call a man with a very small dick?
Justin
What do you call a man who knocks knights off horses?
Lance
What do you call a man with a raincoat?
Mack
What do you call a man with two raincoats?
Max
What do you call a man with two raincoats standing in a cemetery?
Max Bygraves
What do you call a man with an iron on his head?
Mark
What do you call a man who sits at your front door?
Matt
What do you call a man who repeats eveything you say, except louder?
Mike
What do you call a man with his legs chopped off at the knees?
Neil
What do you call a lady with a cocktail stick in her head?
Olive
What do you call a lady that you wouldn't bother to pick up?
Penny
What do you call a man who has been buried for 2,000 years?
Pete
What do you call a man in the back of a tip truck?
Phil
What do you call a woman who fills the cracks in your walls?
Polly-filler
What do you call a man travelling at the speed of light?
Ray
What do you call a man who works in a breaker's yard?
Rex
What do you call a man with a large bank balance?
Rich
What do you call a man with a pole through his head?
Rod
What do you call a man with a pole through his knee?
Rodney
What do you call an epileptic in a pile of leaves?
Russell
What do you call a wet man lying on a beach?
Sandy
What do you call a man waterskiing?
Skip
What do you call a man buried up to his neck?
Spike
What do you call a man in the shallow end of a pool?
Wade
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his nose?
Warren
What do you call a man sitting on a lawyer's desk?
Will
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him - he still won't come
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs who is chewing a razor?
Still no bloody idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs, no body and no head?
A hat rack